so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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