You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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