at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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