Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
dude. I can hear the air.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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