I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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