Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
