we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
