the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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