I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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