just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize