This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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