Your mouth is God's brothel.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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