I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Randomize
