well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
