what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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