It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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