Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
