Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
this is an emotional support booty call
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Randomize
