I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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