I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
