had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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