i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 609 share tweet
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Randomize
