I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
