there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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