it was like his penis was on wheels.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
