Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
