Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
