he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Randomize
