She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
