Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
The air taste purple.
Randomize