Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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