Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
