Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
