Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
