I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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