Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
