her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize