so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
