Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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