I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
