I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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