i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize