I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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