this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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