i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Your dad touched me again.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
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