so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
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