The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
zippers are such a cool invention
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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