i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Randomize
