belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
