SEEEEXXX PLEASE
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
