i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
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