can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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