lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
