I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
