so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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