Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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