Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
