I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
