how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
