just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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