He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
