were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
