wakey wakey hands off snakey
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
