Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
