you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
