I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Randomize
