So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
