Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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