I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize